weight loss challenge has it’s challenges

Well it seems appropriate to restart this blog, after a long break, on the day I start my work weight loss challenge. Needless to say I truly enjoyed my summer but it’s time to get back on the horse.

Man! That reminds me of how hard it is to get on a damn bike! I have lost all flexibility and can barely lift my leg up and over the bar.

What’s really crazy about my particular current situation is that I have a degree in Exercise Physiology. I was a damn personal trainer for crying out loud! I used to be fit and strong and a borderline hottie!

Did I have an attitude in the beginning of summer? Did I make it sound like I didn’t care? Did I throw up my arms and give up? Yes, yes and yes. That’s kind of what happens when you are in denial.

I do care. And even more, my family cares. My kids have been asking me when I’m going to “not have a fat belly.” I’ve been ignoring them and then pacifying them because I didn’t want to give up my junk food and beer and candy. I wasn’t ready to really look at what I’ve done to myself.  I hadn’t hit rock bottom…until today.

Actually it really feels like a huge rock hit my huge bottom (and top and middle) when I saw that number on the scale. It’s a big one. One I have really and truly never ever seen under my toes. One that has to go down substantially and has to stay down for the long run. One that was 45 lbs lower just one year ago!

But what do I do this time that I haven’t tried in the past 30+ years of my struggle? Not sure yet.

I need a plan that is real to my reality. One that does the job. One that completes the job and has a comprehensive warranty on parts and labor.

It has to make sense. It has to feel as natural as possible in order for me to truly adapt. It has to speak equally to my mind and body.

I will do this. It’s attainable. It’s my destiny, not my density that pushes me.

I need to care about what my kids think. I need to care about myself again. I need to be able to fit in my damn self again.

Being comfortable in my own self. Isn’t that what really matters anyway?

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